It's been too long and I'm avoiding packing like the plague. :)

So a lot has happened since my last postie wostie. I've grown some serious balls (not in a genital way people) , transferred my work location so that I now work in the same city I live in, made a car payment, paid my rent, walked the dog... no I'm lieing, I don't have a dog, but I wish I did then I'd walk it. Okay getting to the thing I am really going to write about... I AM IN A FIVE GIRL POP GROUP. Yes, a pop group. I am one of three lead singers. Hopefully you will catch me on the Disney channel or something in like six months.

Pop is never what I wanted... I never thought I'd be a pop artist. It all happened sometime at the beginning of April. My friend Danny and I had been working on a couple of very good, original R&B vibed tracks at his school and we decided that I should do a cover of the song Umbrella by Rihanna... but the slow version. Well I harmonized it and killed it and Danny mixed it to perfection, it sounds legit as anything. I put it on my music Myspace straight away and that same evening I had a message from my NOW manager. I ignored the message like I do all other people who approach me musically like they are really doing something great. PLEASE. Well then I sign into my facebook account and there he is again... he found me on there too so the thoughts running through my head were hmm... lemme check this out... Girls Nite Out huh. They seem pretty legit. They have a couple of songs but the songs sound soo bubblegum-esque. Eh this isn't me, but lets see what this guy has to say. Well after he talked to me for awhile, I still had a negative attitude towards it like... I'm not doing this, I wanna sing R&B with soul and lungs and blues and YAAA. I started to have mixed feelings about it and he was like.. listen, just come down and meet the girls and get a feel for things and make your decision from there. SO I agreed to that and me and mommy went down to the rehearsal place Jamspot to check these ladies out. Immediately they were friendly and made me feel welcome, I sang for them and was so damn nervous I was shakin' like a leaf. I sang "At Last" and "Weak". As the week went on it became clear they would love for me to be a part of the group and I thought about the positive ways being in this group would benefit me. (Even though I didn't dance... like at all.) So there it was... the inception of a new path in my life. GIRLS NITE OUT!

Since I have started this group two months ago, I have already grown so much. My manager teaches me a lot about the biz and scene, I have developed bonds with the lovely ladies, I hit some notes that I always told myself I couldn't, I am learning stage presence and dance techniques. It's all mental, I train my mind to do this stuff and I have now been blessed with the environment to test it all out and feel it all out. I always knew I could sing but, I never realized how great I really am... not to toot my own horn, but I have what it takes. My confidence in my voice has never been higher. Now I need to get my charisma and dance skill just as high and there will be nothing but success in my immediate future. I know I can do this. :)


From left to right: Cynthia, ME Darcie, A-Marie, Katie, Jessica.


WELL WELL WELL

I am off to bed in a little bit... I think I will get an episode of Family Guy in real quick though before I do that. I should have packed tonight but umm whatever I made some cool bows for my hair instead...
and drank a Bud Light Lime...


I HATE packing.


My home roots are deep but... some things are vital to my success... like being away from home (the most comfortable place in my current life.) So off I go tomorrow to Providence Place Mall in Rhode Island for a mall appearance at a V Factory show (Its a boy group signed by Warner... yea I never heard of them either) where someone from Warner records and Universal records will be. Paul (my musical manager) says its our most important day so far because first impressions are everythangggg. So I guess I gotta actually do my hair tomorrow and look good. Then, since my band mate Cynthia lives in Providence, I'll stay there for the weekend then its back to Mass for practice on Monday and Tuesday. So I won't be home until late Tuesday night. I better get used to this travelling thing, it is just the beginning.

Waiting to die?

Today was a day that I would have rather slept through. Well, I did sleep for most of it but obviously not enough of it to make it go by faster. It was just grey, and boring, and lonely. HI, I'M EMO. No just kidding... but getting to the point, I went to Walmart today to get mascara because Target obviously stopped selling my favorite... Maybelline Lash Stylist in Very Black. HMPH. There was one left at Walmart at the very bottom of the Maybelline Mascara wall. Front and center are their new Lash Stilleto, Volume Express, XXL, whatever the silly names are. Lash Stylist has a comb wand and its better than all of those new bullies. But it's getting no shine. I hope they are going to continue to make it! Long live lash stylist!! Okay I'll stop.

So my Pepere (that's Canadian for grandfather) is in a nursing home right behind Walmart, so every time I go to Walmart I make it a point to swing through to see the old buck. Coincidentally my uncle and cousin were going in at the same time to see him. I've been there quite a few times but it really smelled in there today like death and decay, okay I'm exaggerating, it smelled more like shit though. He was in the dining room so we sat with him for a bit while he ate. He's funny... him and my grandmother divorced years ago but he brings her up all the time now. Today he said, "My ex-wife doesn't want anything to do with me anymore so hey, I'm getting too old that's why." He was terrible to my grandmother throughout their lives together and it's interesting how the thought of her now haunts him. He's doing better but a lot of those people at the nursing home are in pretty rough shape. Some incapable of functioning, most have pretty much lost their minds, its really sad because I look at them and I imagine how it feels to be in their heads. They say a lot of out there and randomized things like they are in another dimension, another world, another time, another place. Maybe that's why they call it dementia? Probably not but it would make sense. When I look at these aged and fragile individuals I can imagine them when they were youthful, like myself. Sometimes, the people in there have husbands and wives that are still all there mentally and they come into visit them, it's so sad. It's like their significant other has already died, person they fell in love with anyways. It really touches my heart and I think to myself... there will probably be a day when I am that old, so old that not much really matters anymore. So close to certain death... I don't mean to be grim but that's reality. On a positive note... let's enjoy life and the people we love in it... elderly people are suprised at how quickly it seems their lives have passed by... they say it all the time.

Chilly Picture Wednesday

Images swiped from www.flashinglightsandsmiles.blogspot.com

My friend Kim is a great photographer and I can't wait to see her grow and really blossom in her art. These shots were taken yesterday in downtown Manchester, the sun was not out and it was really cold. The coldness was the worst part of it all, we were both shivering. The shoot would have gone much smother if it was nice and warm out but I think there are some good shots regardless, and there are many more where these came from that she has not got the chance to edit yet. Thanks again Kim. :D <3 src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v311/kimmyL/Photoshoot/DSC06915copy.jpg" width="350">















An excerpt from Kim's blog...

On our way back there was bad car accident.. pretty bad huh

REMEMBER TO DRIVE SAFELY AND BUCKLE UP!

Dramaticized, a word?

Okay
So I was a little desperate, melodramatic, "woe is me" this past weekend about certain things let's just say. That type of behavior is behind me now. (ha ha) I'm level-headed again and I'm thinking clearly as of yet. I did have reasons to get a little bothered, but I should never let things bother me to the degree that I do, that's the thing. It's so silly of me! SO, I'm not saying I was wrong, I'm just saying I need to tone things down in the drama department FOR MY OWN GOOD. No one person should have control of my happiness, only I can... should... and do! I'm going to be less dramatic and start thinking rationally in moments of looming or impending negativity.

I could say;
I deserve a man that makes me feel happy,
a man that makes me feel loved,
one that makes me feel special.

Instead, I am going to say;
I deserve a man who is going to add to my happiness,
a man that adds to the love I already feel in my life in a way that only he can,
a man that sees how special I really am and cherishes it to the fullest.

And I will know he feels that way because it will reflect in his actions.


Someone who only has eyes for me! :D

The song "I Only Have Eyes for You" was recorded and released by at least ten different artists and continues to be remade and remixed today. Obviously it has some serious appeal. Most notably?
The Flamingos. 1959



I guess I'm old-fashioned. I really should have lived in the 40's-50's. For so many reasons.

Roadkill, Rain and Street Trains.

The rain is really killing my mood, but it's not so bad I guess. It's been gray, rainy, and raw the past couple of days. Yesterday I went with my lovely step-sister Trisha and the bridal party to a bridal store to purchase TOUCH-UPS. Dye-ability baby! I hated them at first but I think that is because the store model I put on my foot was a size 11. Nothing that is a size 11 looks attractive on my size 7 foot. I guess they are not soo bad, I was really being a brat about the shoes. Sorry Trish. I'll rock em' and rock em' well. They are going to be dyed magenta. Now I have my dress and shoes bought.



The wedding is near the end of June and I'm singing At Last by Etta James and I'm so excited. I'm think I'm going to style my hair so that it looks vintage. I was looking at tutorials on You Tube a little while ago. Liberty rolls? Katy Perry style.



(AH, my two favorite artists.)

I saw a lot of roadkill on the roads yesterday, QUITE disturbing. Work was very dull yesterday.

Today was my day off at T-Mobile but I put work in in my own way. I was in Boston today at the Institute of Art. My friend Danny is a Recording Arts major? I believe it's called? He is graduating soon. Well he makes me beats and writes me lyrics and they are vedddy niceee. I'm in the process of recording a few songs and I feel really good about that! I feel like I'm taking a step toward my dream as corny as that may sound. I really appreciate him for that but also as a friend! I think I'm starting to weird him out a little with telling him that but he just doesn't understand. Haha, he'll get over it if he is weirded out. It's just that for so long now I have been doing nothing to pursue the dream, and he stays on my ass like my mom used to when my room was messy. But not as annoying of course. I appreciate that a lot! He is helping me off to a good start. Good friend right there.

Laundry day tomorrow if I can wake up early enough, I have for the past couple of days. Ay yiy yiy. Then work. xP

Giants Exist

Like how does this happen. I'd love to meet one, a nice kind-hearted one though because whoa, imagine the damage they have the potential of?! WHAT.

Imagine if this dude could play ball, in this day and age. Would it be an unfair advantage? Wow. Saturday night and I'm on my computer wondering if giants really exist.

Catch-up

So it has been a little while since my last post but that's okay.

I went to Florida towards the end of last month. Jacksonville. My friend Adela has a house there with her husband Ralph so I stayed with them. They are a wonderful couple both only 21, "two peas in a pod." They seem to better each other and balance each other out, they get along so well I mean they really are best friends. They don't really fight at all. They have endless respect, admiration, and adoration for each other. It's great. They have found a way for their lives to just flow in sync and they make each other so happy every damn day. They are inseparable. I am so happy for them, that's how I know TRUE LOVE exists.


This is them...


And here is me...

I was having some moving to Miami thoughts before I went down there, then when I got down to Jacksonville, Adela once again suggested that I move in with her for a little bit first and situate myself down there. I was like... yea maybe... you know what yea... Yea I'm moving down here! I was really excited about it and everything and when I came back home I told everyone. In my mind I had made a choice and started planning for it. No one wanted to tell me I shouldn't, then my someone had a talk with me bringing some points of reality to the surface for me. I was like hmm... those are some points to think about, now I had a choice on my hands. Choices overwhelm me especially when they are as big as relocating my life. So instead of weighing it out I cleared my stress away by taking the easy way out and deciding to stay here in NH. I like my little apartment and I need to find a way to be genuinely happy with Manchester or else I won't know how to be happy anywhere. Home is where the heart is right? So that's that...for now.




Florida was great though, I went to Orlando, Universal Studios, but didn't get much time there. Went to a dinner show after that. Sleuth's Murder Mystery Show! The night was quite eventful though... it didn't go so smoothly. In Jacksonville, I went to The Cummer Gallery of Art and Gardens, And The Museum of Science and History (MOSH) and to Ripley's Believe it or Not Museum in St. Augustine. Which is the oldest city in the country by the way. There was a big fort there but we didn't have the time or funds to tour it. I went to Kasbah, which is a hookah lounge in Jacksonville. I wish there was one like it here in Manchester. If I had some money, I'd open one and make a fortune. It stays open really late too, there was live jazz playing inside and Arabic music outside. Smoking hookah is fun, I mean some flavors of tobacco taste really good, you can mix them too and if you suck in really hard you feel all lightheaded for a couple minutes, it's great. I like cherry and mint mixed together. AKA Candy Cane. To my family in FL, thank you for having me. :D

Universal Studios...


Ripley's Believe It or Not... Test Your Love Factor Chair. (haha)

Loveable is the one I got. :D

Downtown Jacksonville...

I have been working on painting earrings for my jewelry line which until recently I had been slacking on something fierce.

I have been cooking quite a bit, trying to brush up my skills. It's a great way to occupy my mind and relax me. They say that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach right? ;)